The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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