Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
