To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
These tits shall not be calmed
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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