that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
