if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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