I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
