Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
