Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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