I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
