do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
