Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
