Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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