I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
3pm strippers are depressing
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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