I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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