I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
