can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
