i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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