normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just want to make out with him forever
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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