If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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