watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
should my penis look like a turkey
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
