Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Omg I joined a choir last night...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
