How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
