its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
