the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Say something about gay babies.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
