I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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