That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
