that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
