Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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