Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
