that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
