i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
