...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Can i not drive my cunt home
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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