Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
