tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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