I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
