I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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