nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
