Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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