this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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