i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it hurts more in the daytime
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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