shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
