I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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