and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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