Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
