Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This is the high leading the old right now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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