I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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