She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just pee around me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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