There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
