With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
