i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
