oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
