Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
